'Duck & Cover' - Humour Under Attack:

That phrase 'DUCK & COVER' has been presented for use against three types of attack:

Nuclear Explosion ..      Earthquake ..       Bear Attack ..

I fully accept the advice value contained therein .. for what it's worth eh.

Pithy But Wise Words like this Sticker on my Gun box 

(Along with "NOT TO BE USED BY FUCK-WITS"):

BUT - All three possible violent events above may prove terminal and very sore.

I seriously do recognize the sense of that 'duck & cover' advice .. but of these three threats, - I've only experienced big earthquakes in the Christchurch area - and both times I was too scared to move - In fact the shaking was so violent that I couldn't move until it stopped.

Now if you come-up against an aggressive bear you'll need to have a fresh can of BEAR PEPPER SPRAY in one hand and a full power handgun or long arm in the other .. "duck & cover"? - might be part of your defense.

Both of the other two cataclysmic events can be prepared for by having emergency foods, water, strengthened locations and civil-defense preparations such as battery torches, radios, phones etc .. and these provisions did indeed nurture me some with meals, shelter & hot drinks. (Have you got potassium iodide & iodine (for radiation) along with your canned beans?).

.. BUT if you are in the epicenter when you are nuked or quaked ... well you might get lucky eh.

My Dad (a WWII Commando corporal) told this story long after the war to an Irish Guards mate - about diving into a ditch for cover from a STUKA dive bomber 7.92 mm machine guns (Junkers JU 87 ground attack a.c): "Corp, Corp .. what shall we do?" ... "Pray you c#nt."

Link to short STUKA video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uvqhA4_2tU

- Now of course - those of you who are awake may have noticed that "Duck & Cover" is quite similar to the NZ police advice to anyone subject to unlawful violence .. or as my Dad put it .. "PRAY YOU C#NT"

 - But the difference is that when you are being machine-gunned by a STUKA or Nuked by an unfriendly government - such words of comfort are actually appropriate ..

.. whereas if some hoodie wearing prospect is trying to 'qualify' by beating on your skull with a rusty ball-pein hammer you might well be advised to energetically & forcefully defend yourself .. by means other than by pretending to be a turtle..

Marty K.