VASELINE .. Great For Your Balls:

I got a phone call last week .... Hello I'm "Moira" from CIVIL DEFENCE - just ringing to see if you are all right ... "Why wouldn't I be - but the cat's just puked-up onto the carpet"  - Ah mine's done that today too she says - but we are checking to see if you are all right under the 'Covid-19 Shut-Down' - She says, - I'm a farmers wife up here .. we've got 4,000 sheep .. Blimey you must be a bloody millionaire, with lamb chops costing $10 dollars each .. No she says - we haven't got any money .. A nice lady so I ask - Tell me, what would you have done for me - if I'd replied that I was going stir crazy and had no food, no power and was depressed and pulling-out my hair? - well says she - I've got a couple of phone numbers I could give you for counselling ....  ...

I guess that I'm already notorious for suggesting CANOLA OIL from your supermarket & kitchen shelves for superb all-round gun lubrication .. see:

  https://flicense.blogspot.com/2020/03/gun-lube-or-canola-oil.html

Great Lubricant in Wet Conditions.

.. So I've nothing to lose by suggesting Vaseline as a nice pure non-allergenic non-carcinogenic greasy lube for everything else you can think of - especially for smearing on your balls - that is your pure cotton-wool balls that are close to 100% CELLULOSE and will catch a spark from your flint and steel magic fire lighter very readily once you have practised and refined your technique eh.

I suppose that I should include here a 'PC" WARNING that both oils & Vaseline are flammable substances ..

.. Just don't go putting a 50:50 mix of concentrated nitric & hydrochloric or sulphuric acids on your cotton wool - NO  .. naughty  (.. nitrocellulose = guncotton).

- I've just been rung and told that an old work mate Dusty Miller has passed from a stroke .. on my birthday. That old pommy blighter genuinely owed me a bottle of Scotch for getting him voluntary redundancy from Air NZ years back when I was Eng. Union Delegate. It would be rude to tell his wife but ..

Yes Vaseline - originally called "rod-wax" 😁 is a (flammable) petroleum distillate that may be used as a lubricant.

The name Vaseline  comes from the German Wasser (water) and Greek elaion (olive oil).

I suppose that I might take a step too far if I were to suggest that a clear(ish) wax such as beeswax is THE RIGHT STUFF to apply to your favourite lovely sharp knives ? - NEVER use oil (except when sharpening maybe) on a decent knife - as that attracts grit .. whereas a nice furniture wax - maybe 'RENAISSANCE Wax' will be perfect for blades - handles & sheaths  and for your blued firearms too ... Don't argue - I'm a step closer to making 80 this week and I know that of which I speak ..

Very expensive WAX & "Elbow Grease"

Yup - but you've got plenty of dollars .. go ahead and spend some on weird smelling fancy canned & gas propelled aerosol stuff .. they do look pretty on the retailer's shelf eh .. probably won't do any harm.

Marty K.